3 tips for putting yourself into positive circles

Do you put yourself in positive or negative circles? Let’s explore what this means in practice. Louise was a manager who I mentored several years ago. During the first meeting she described the barriers she faced that caused stress. Six months later, at the third meeting, she arrived dressed in bright colours - whereas previously she had worn grey and black. Louise felt calm and was enjoying life. She explained.

“During our first session you mentioned something I had read in books, but felt was too simple: ‘People spend time in positive circles or negative circles’. The first circle involves being in positive relationships where you get positive responses and positive results. The second involves being in negative relationships where you get negative responses and negative results.”

“I had put myself in negative circles. At work, for example, I concentrated on trying to influence unmotivated people, kidding myself that, if I discovered the magic key, I could achieve a turnaround. But I became enmeshed in a spider’s web which sapped energy. Now I spend time in positive circles.”

Let’s explore how you can follow similar steps in your own way.

* You can put yourself into positive circles.

Looking at your personal and professional life, describe how you can make this happen. For example, the stimulating people with whom you can spend time; the stimulating projects you can pursue; the stimulating activities that you can enjoy. You may want to get into the habit of eating good food, running, visiting the theatre or whatever. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to put myself into positive circles in my personal & professional life are:


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* You can avoid getting into negative circles.

It may take time to extract yourself from energy-draining experiences - especially at work. One way to escape is to find or create other positive projects that improve the business. Providing you show the benefits, the sponsors are more likely to give the go-ahead. You will then be able to say ‘Yes,’ to this stimulating work and ‘No,’ to staying in troubling situations. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to stay out of negative circles are:

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* You can make sure you are continuing to put yourself into positive circles.

Continue with the good habits, because these will provide ongoing encouragement. Take particular notice of your energy. Do you feel up or down? Use this as a barometer – then check back to see what you have done to create these feelings. Be quick to recognise the warning signs - such as illness, tiredness or losing your sense of purpose. Act quickly to get back on track. You will then have more energy to give to other people. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to keep making sure I am putting myself into positive circles are:

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