3 tips for focusing on where you are calm

Calmness is one of clues to clarifying your top talent. So let’s explore where you display this quality. Can you think of a specific situation where you stay calm? You may be caring for a critically ill patient, solving a problem, conducting a mentoring session or whatever. What do you do right then? Let’s explore the following steps to doing great work.

* You can focus on calmness.

Great performers demonstrate ‘grace under pressure’. The negotiator remains cool when trying to free hostages. The footballer enters a ‘bubble’ when taking a decisive penalty kick. Class acts go into the ‘C Zone’: they become calm, controlled and centered. Let’s return to the specific activity in which you feel calm. Why do you feel that way? Perhaps you feel ‘at home’. Perhaps you have rehearsed the situation many times. Perhaps you have found ways to buy yourself time. Try completing the following sentences.

The specific situation in which I stay calm is:

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The things I do to stay calm in the situation are:

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* You can focus on clarity.

How do you quickly establish clarity – the real results to achieve? The paramedic who arrives at a pile-up is confronted by chaos on the motorway. They ask themselves: “Who can be saved? What must be done to free people from the wreckage? What must be done to ensure they make a full recovery?” “Sounds logical,” somebody may say, “but sometimes there may be multiple goals. How do you settle-on the priorities?” You quickly brainstorm all the results you want to achieve - then list these in order of priority. Looking at the situation in which you are calm, how do you establish the short, medium and long-term goals? Try completing the following sentence.

The things I do to establish clarity in the situation are:

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* You can focus on concrete results.

Great performers start from their destination and quickly consider the possible strategies for achieving the goals. They consider: a) The ‘conventional’ solutions - the tried and trusted ways that have worked before; b) The ‘creative’ solutions - the new, imaginative ways needed to achieve the goal. Exploring the options, they consider the consequences - the pluses and minuses of each route - then settle on their conclusion. Committing to their chosen route, they continue to be creative until they achieved the goal. You will do this in your own way. Try completing the following sentence.

The things I do to deliver concrete results in the situation are:

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Mission accomplished, you clarify the learning and rest for a while. Soon it will be time to seek another challenge. Looking at what you have learned, how can you follow similar principles in the future? You can keep developing your skills to be calm, clear and deliver concrete results.

3 tips for getting positive energy

Energy is life. So what gives you positive energy? What gives you negative energy? How can you get more positive energy in the future? You may then be able to give even more to other people. Let’s explore three steps for making this happen.

* You can clarify the things that give you positive energy.

Start by describing the things you find stimulating. For example, the people, projects and pleasures that put a spring into your step. Later we will look at how you can do more of these things in the future.

People who are ‘Givers’ sometimes find it hard to give to themselves. Sheila Cassidy is such a ‘Giver’. During the 1970s she was imprisoned in Chile for providing medical care to opponents of the Pinochet regime. Returning to the UK after being tortured, she went on to become Medical Director of St Luke’s Hospice in Plymouth. Sheila gave to others, but starved herself of pleasures. Hard work took its toll, however, and she began taking more care of herself. Writing in her book Sharing The Darkness, Sheila explains:

“Perhaps the final fall from my self-styled perch of grace came at the beginning of the winter season when Brideshead Revisited was serialised for television. Until then I had stalwartly refused to have more than a transistor radio and tape recorder, but now I could bear it no longer and rushed into town to buy myself a TV.”

Sheila found that, far from corrupting her contribution, she gave even more to other people. Try completing the follow exercise.

The things that give me positive energy are:

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* You can clarify the things that give you negative energy.

Stimulation is crucial - but sometimes it can also be good to identify what saps your energy. Describe things you find draining, such as serial complainers, ‘observer critics’ or whatever. Try completing the following exercise.

The things that give me negative energy are:

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* You can do more of the things that give you positive energy.

“Nowadays I spend more time with encouragers,” said one person. “They help me to feel more real, more myself. Music also lifts my soul. So now I start the day with upbeat music, rather than listening to bad news on the radio. During my twenties I became so depressed that I made Eeyore look cheerful. Certainly I keep abreast of current events, but now I focus on doing what I can to improve the world.”

Looking to the future, you may want to consider two things. First, do more of the things that are inspiring. Second, stop doing some of the things that are draining. Try combining these elements to complete the following exercise.

The steps I can take to do more of the things that give me positive energy are:


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People can choose their attitude. They can choose to be givers or takers, creators or complainers, encouragers or stoppers. Givers also need encouragement, however, so it is important to keep getting positive energy. You will then have even more encouragement to give to other people.

3 tips for raising people's sights to show what is possible

“The key is to have high expectations of people,” said one of my teachers. “This rule applies whether you are working with delinquents, footballers, peak performers or whatever. But one point is vital. The key is to focus on the person’s strengths – the ‘elite’ 20% part of them – rather than the other parts. It is then important: 1) To raise people’s sights and show what is possible: 2) To help them to believe it is possible: 3) To enable them to make it possible.”

During the past 40 years I have practiced this approach in many different scenarios – and it works. When running a therapeutic community, for example, I expected the young people to visit universities and lecture about ‘how to help troubled young people’. They did – and got lots of plaudits. There are many other situations where this approach works. So let’s explore how you can follow these steps in your own way.

* You can raise people’s sights to show what is possible.

Can you think of a situation where you want to communicate high expectations to people? You may be running a counselling session, teaching a class, leading a team or whatever. Your expectations must, of course, be based on what you believe people can achieve – providing they work hard.

Sometimes this means communicating the guidelines ahead of time. For example, I explain to potential clients that I only work with people who are: a) positive; b) professional; b) prepared to work hard to be peak performers. This approach is positive but tough. People invariably respond well – but there have been occasions when it has been necessary to draw the line. If people lapse into game-playing, for instance, I suggest they would be better suited finding another person to work with them. Everybody can falter – but it is vital to focus on people’s strengths – what they can achieve – and have high expectations.

Great leaders tap into this vein all the time. They say things like: “I have a dream … We shall overcome … We are going to put a man on the moon, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.” They show what is possible. How can you do this in your own way? Start by thinking of a situation where you want to raise people’s sights. Bearing in mind their strengths, what do you think they can achieve? Try completing the following sentences.

The specific situation in which I want to raise people’s sights and show what it is possible to achieve is:

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The specific goal I want to encourage them to believe it is possible to achieve is:

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* You can help people to believe it is possible.

The belief must be based on reality – so how can you help people to believe it is possible to reach the goal?

a) You can encourage people to build on their strengths.

Everybody has talents. It is simply a question of spotting them – even if they only show these for a moment. You can look for when people ‘come alive’. When are they in their element – at ease and yet able to excel? What are the activities in which they deliver ‘As’, rather than ‘Bs’ or ‘Cs’? When do they take responsibility? What do they have a good track record of finishing? If they are experiencing a crisis, when have they overcome setbacks in the past? What did they do right then? How can they tap into this inner strength? How can they follow these principles to overcome setbacks both now and in the future?

b) You can encourage people to ‘control the controllables’.

Imagine you are leading a team. You can encourage people to do three things. First, to clarify what they can control – such as their attitude, professionalism, the way they communicate, etc. Second, to clarify what they can’t control – such as the market - though they can still do their best to influence it. Third, to clarify how they can build on what they can control and manage what they can’t. Positive people focus on what they can control – and build on it; negative people focus on what they can’t control – and complain about it.

c) You can encourage people to get an early success.

There are many different ways to get some early wins. Here is one example. During the 1980s I was the youth development officer for a football club in Sweden. We aimed to move the youth team’s ranking from number 120 to the top 30. After surveying the talent, I quickly got in five new players. The next step was to arrange an indoors tournament during the winter pre-season. We invited 3 teams from the Swedish top division, plus 4 other teams. (The big clubs accepted because we had a fine indoors pitch.) The tournament draw was arranged so that, providing our team played well, we would reach the semi-finals and pick up a medal. That is what happened. For the first time our players were on the same pitch as youngsters from the top Swedish clubs and also won enough matches to get medals. The club’s board were impressed and gave us money to buy more players.

It is vital to engender belief – whether you are working with individuals, a team or a company. But this must be based on reality. One approach is to build on their strengths, control the controllables and get an early success. Let’s return to the specific situation in which you want to raise people’s sights. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to encourage people to believe it is possible to reach the goal are:

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* You can enable people to make it possible.

People must now do the hard work. From your side, this is where your skills as an educator will come to the fore. Providing you have laid the groundwork properly, you will have equipped them: a) to build on the right strengths; b) to set the right specific goal and strategy; c) to develop the right skills to achieve success. This does not mean your work is over. You may will provide ongoing encouragement, coaching and other support. Ultimately, however, it was not Gandhi who gained Indian Independence; Martin Luther King who won civil rights; John F. Kennedy who landed on the moon. Such leaders may have shown what was possible – but it was the people who did the work. Great coaches can play their part, however, by encouraging, educating and enabling individuals and teams to achieve success. How can you do this in your own way? Let’s return to the specific situation in which you want to raise people’s sights. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to encourage, educate & enable people to reach the goal are:

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During the 1960s and 70s much of my work was based on ‘expectation theory’. I expected the teenagers in the therapeutic community to be able to ‘lecture’ students and teachers at university. Moving to Sweden, I ran 5 day workshops on ‘personal strengths building’. People came along expecting to develop their talents. Invited to work in Swedish schools with 14 year-old ‘troublesome’ kids, I expected them to understand English and build on their strengths. Perhaps this was unreasonable but, strangely, it seemed to work. They rose to the challenge. Nowadays I work with peak performers. The expectation is clear: to build on their strengths and build super teams. Fortunately they seem to respond.

Everybody has talents. The key is to focus on the best part of the person or the team - and to communicate high expectations. Providing people are building from a basis of belief, they love to stretch themselves. You can then enable them to achieve ongoing success.

You can find many more ideas on this theme at:

http//:www.thestrengthsway.com