3 tips for becoming a class act

“They are a class act,” is a phrase used to describe somebody who consistently performs brilliantly - and also adds that touch of class. The footballer scores with a breathtaking volley; the singer produces a memorable encore; the ‘victor’ behaves generously; the ‘loser’ makes a gracious speech; the soldier behaves courageously in the heat of battle. Such people demonstrate grace under pressure.

Nelson Mandela turned away from violence and personally thanked his warders when leaving Robbins Island. Lady Maria Stubbs set the tone when taking over the school where Philip Lawrence was murdered. On her first day at St Georges, Westminster, she shook hands with every pupil. Tackling the challenge head-on, she worked with the staff and students to turn around the school. How can you become a class act? Here are three suggestions you may want to consider.

* You can clarify the specific activity in which you can become a class act.

Choose an activity in which you stand a chance of achieving 10/10. One football coach, for example, chose to become the outstanding head of a youth academy, rather than a highly paid club manager. “My skills are in helping talented young players to develop,” he said. “I am not suited to the roller-coaster pressures of getting weekly results and talking with the press. I prefer to produce a succession of young players who go on to become internationals.” What is the area in which you feel you can excel? Start by clarifying the specific activity in which you want to become – and feel you can become – a class act. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific activity in which I feel I can become a class act is:

*

* You can perform brilliant work in this activity and add that touch of class.

Be super professional. Do everything possible to deliver success. Sometimes you may achieve your goal by adding a touch of class. Different people show class in different ways. Sometimes they do ‘something special’. Sometimes they find a solution that seems stunningly simple - but therein lies its magic. Looking back, can you think of a time when you added that ‘touch of class’? Perhaps it was when you had already completed a task, then added that little bit extra; or during a ‘critical’ moment - when you performed well under pressure. What did you do right then to do something special? Let’s return to the activity in which you want to become a class act. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to perform brilliant work – and add that touch of class – are:

*

* You can look ahead and practice being a class act in difficult situations.

Sometimes you will hit problems that upset you personally. For example, you may suffer unfair personal criticism. How can you show grace under pressure? One approach is to buy time and ask yourself: “What would a class act do in this situation?” Then behave that way. Try the exercise on this theme. Looking ahead, think of an unsettling challenge. Consider what a great human being would do in this situation. Bearing this in mind, clarify how you can behave in that way. For example, be calm, kind and super creative. Maybe you won’t always ‘win’. But you will keep your dignity, be true to yourself and feel happier as a human being. That is the hallmark of a class act. Try completing the following sentences.

The potentially difficult situation would be:


*

The things a class act would do in this situation would be:

*


The things I can do to behave like a class act in this situation are:

*

You can rise to the occasion by being calm, controlled and centered - then add that touch of class.

3 tips for clarifying what you can offer as a mentor

Imagine somebody has asked you to be their mentor. You want to help them, but are not sure what you can offer. Here are three things you can do before the first session.

* You can clarify whether you really want to be a mentor.

Mentors are wise and trusted advisers. They pass-on knowledge in a way that helps the mentee to achieve their personal or professional goals. Good mentoring calls for being prepared to spend quality time with the mentee. The frequency of the meetings can be worked-out together, but you may need to set aside at least 2-3 hours every quarter. Try completing the following sentence.

On a scale 0 – 10, the extent to which I

feel motivated to be a mentor is: ____ / 10

Make sure the motivation is at least 8/10. Assuming you are ready to make the necessary commitment, move onto the next step.

* You can clarify what you can & can’t offer as a mentor.

Try tackling the exercise below called Mentoring: What I can & can’t offer. One person wrote: “I can offer the mentee time; encouragement; an overview of their situation; problem-solving skills and knowledge of this organisation. I can’t offer magic solutions or do the work for them.” Try completing the following sentences.

The things I can offer as a mentor are:

*

*

*

The things I can’t offer as a mentor are:

*

*

*


* You can clarify the kind of mentee with whom you will work best.

Frequently we ask mentees to clarify the qualities they want in their ideal mentor. Similarly, it is important for the mentor to understand the kind of mentee with whom they work best. One mentor wrote: “I like working with somebody who is positive, hungry and intuitive. For example, they like learning from many different fields, such as business, the arts and sports. I also work best with people in the ‘newer’ industries. Such people like to write the new rules, rather than be strait-jacketed by the old ones.” Tackle the exercise on this theme called My ideal mentee. Try completing the following sentence.

The kind of mentee with whom I work best is somebody who:

*

*

*

You will then be ready to go onto the next step – facilitating the actual mentoring session. Many tools for making this happen can be found in the free download, The Mentor's Pack, at:

http://www.thestrengthsway.com/

3 tips for focusing on when you are both 'helicoptering & hands-on'

How to clarify your ‘A’ talent? One clue can be found in identifying situations where you balance seeming paradoxes – such as when you are simultaneously ‘helicoptering’ and ‘hands-on’. You see the big picture and also have attention to detail. Let’s consider how you can capitalise on this talent.

* You can clarify the situation where you are helicoptering & hands-on.

“The first time I experienced this sensation was when I was running a family therapy session,” said one person. “This sounds odd - but suddenly it felt as if I was hovering above people in the room. Looking from above, I could clearly see the family communication patterns. At the same time I was still completely involved in the face-to-face communication with each person. Now I have a similar experience when teaching large groups. Whilst speaking from the front, I see the smallest movement made by each person. That helps me to see patterns and, if necessary, change tack to get results.”

Where does this happen for you? You may be tackling a crisis, solving a problem, performing creative work or whatever. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific situation where I am both helicoptering and hands-on is:

*


* You can clarify what you do right in the situation where you are helicoptering & hands-on.

What do you do right when you see the big picture but also practice your skills? Great performers often find it hard to explain their gift. One international footballer was known for making defence-splitting passes. He had a ‘sixth sense’ for seeing everything on the field – plus the talent needed to pass the ball beautifully. How did the player produce such magic? After some probing, it emerged that he constantly rehearsed potential scenarios that might occur during a match. Then – when these scenarios emerged - he employed the strategy and skills required to deliver success. What do you do well in the places where you excel? How can you keep improving these talents? Try completing the following sentences.

The specific things I do right in the situation where I am helicoptering and hands-on are:

*

The specific things I can do to keep improving these talents are:

*


* You can keep putting yourself into the situation where you are helicoptering & hands-on.

Great performers capitalise on their ‘A’ talent. They find or create a specific niche and, once they strike gold, keep mining this rich vein. (They do not dig for years, find gold and then say: “Oh, let’s leave this seam and find another.”) Sometimes it is easy to underrate our gift. One person said: “Because it came so naturally, I did not think my work was anything special.” They also overlooked the fact that they had been working at perfecting it for many years. How can you keep making full use of your talents? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to keep putting myself into situations where I am helicoptering and hands-on are:

*

You can find many exercises for finding your 'A' talent in the free download The Strengths Pack, which can be found:

Here

3 tips for putting yourself into positive circles

Do you put yourself in positive or negative circles? Let’s explore what this means in practice. Louise was a manager who I mentored several years ago. During the first meeting she described the barriers she faced that caused stress. Six months later, at the third meeting, she arrived dressed in bright colours - whereas previously she had worn grey and black. Louise felt calm and was enjoying life. She explained.

“During our first session you mentioned something I had read in books, but felt was too simple: ‘People spend time in positive circles or negative circles’. The first circle involves being in positive relationships where you get positive responses and positive results. The second involves being in negative relationships where you get negative responses and negative results.”

“I had put myself in negative circles. At work, for example, I concentrated on trying to influence unmotivated people, kidding myself that, if I discovered the magic key, I could achieve a turnaround. But I became enmeshed in a spider’s web which sapped energy. Now I spend time in positive circles.”

Let’s explore how you can follow similar steps in your own way.

* You can put yourself into positive circles.

Looking at your personal and professional life, describe how you can make this happen. For example, the stimulating people with whom you can spend time; the stimulating projects you can pursue; the stimulating activities that you can enjoy. You may want to get into the habit of eating good food, running, visiting the theatre or whatever. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to put myself into positive circles in my personal & professional life are:


*

* You can avoid getting into negative circles.

It may take time to extract yourself from energy-draining experiences - especially at work. One way to escape is to find or create other positive projects that improve the business. Providing you show the benefits, the sponsors are more likely to give the go-ahead. You will then be able to say ‘Yes,’ to this stimulating work and ‘No,’ to staying in troubling situations. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to stay out of negative circles are:

*

* You can make sure you are continuing to put yourself into positive circles.

Continue with the good habits, because these will provide ongoing encouragement. Take particular notice of your energy. Do you feel up or down? Use this as a barometer – then check back to see what you have done to create these feelings. Be quick to recognise the warning signs - such as illness, tiredness or losing your sense of purpose. Act quickly to get back on track. You will then have more energy to give to other people. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to keep making sure I am putting myself into positive circles are:

*

3 tips for appreciating your assets

Sometimes it can be useful to count our blessings. Recently I held a mentoring session with Dave, a manager who was normally positive - but on that occasion he felt depressed in his job. Feeling the world was dark, he had fallen into a negative spiral. Fifteen minutes into the session Dave decided to change tack and count his blessings. Within half-an-hour he had turned himself around. He aimed to tackle the challenges at work - but also appreciate his ‘true wealth’ every day. Let’s explore the following aspects of appreciating your assets.

* You can appreciate your personal assets.

“Recently it has been tough at work,” said Dave, “but I must keep things in perspective. I have good health, a fantastic wife, two lovely children, loyal friends, a home, a garden and some money in the bank. Resilience is one of my assets. During the past thirty years I have overcome many setbacks---and that strength will carry me forward in the future.”

Alexander Calder, the sculptor, said: “I had the good fortune to be born happy.” That is a great start in life. Try tackling the exercise called My assets. Start by describing all your personal assets. For example, your health, family, friends, finances, attitude, ability to overcome adversity, personal drive and whatever. Try completing the following sentence.

My personal assets are:

*

* You can appreciate your professional assets.

What are you professional assets? For example, your past achievements, talents, creativity, work ethic, personal network, satisfied customers, experience, knowledge, wisdom and whatever. Over the years you will have built-up a vast repertoire of strengths, strategies and skills for achieving success. Try completing the following sentence.

My professional assets are:

*

* You can make good use of your assets.

“Certainly I must tackle the issue at work, but that is solvable,” said Dave, “even if it may mean moving to a new job. It comes back to the old adage about how you react after a setback - you can decide to succeed or sulk. Maybe I can have the occasional 10 minute sulk, but then it is time to get on with the job. Today has been a bit of a reality check. Everything is relative, of course, but I have a lot going for me.”

Try tackling the final part of the exercise. How can you appreciate your assets? How can you be a good encourager? How can make full use of your strengths? How can you help other people to succeed? Describe how you can build on your assets and help to build a better world. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to make good use of my assets are:

*

3 tips for going from 7/10 to 10/10

Everybody can find activities in which they quickly reach 7/10. But then comes the hard part - the exponential climb to 10/10. This is the equivalent of graduating from county champion to national champion to continental champion to world champion. This is an enormous climb - much greater than from 0 to 7/10. The only difference being that it is not a competition against others. It is aiming to become the best kind of person or professional you can be. How to make this happen? Here are three suggestions you may want to consider.

* You can clarify the specific activity in which you can go from 7/10 to 10/10.

Choose the niche where you can capitalise on your talents. Choose an activity where: a) You get positive energy; b) You can achieve peak performance. Sometimes such discovery takes years of exploration - then calls for making a tough decision. For example:

- An all-round athlete chose to go for gold in the Olympic Decathlon - rather than bronze in the 400 meters.

- A visionary leader chose to build and sell start-up companies - rather than become the GM of an established company.

- An environmental writer chose to produce inspiring articles about people who were doing practical things to help the planet - rather than harangue people with bad news.

- A person chose to focus on offering ‘applied creativity’ techniques to solve real-life problems in organisations - rather than run theoretical workshops on creativity.

Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Start by considering the normal questions. Ask yourself: “When do I feel in my element? Where do I feel at ease yet excel? When do I experience a sense of flow? What are the activities in which I score highly on drive, detail and delivery? Where do I have a good track record of finishing? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific activity in which I believe I can go from 7/10 to 10/10 is:

*

* You can take the actions required to go from 7/10 to 10/10.

The Olympic athlete knew exactly what he must do to have any chance of winning a gold medal. Starting from the date of the Olympic Final and working backwards, he put his project plan on the fridge door. Four years hence he must be doing z, three years hence he must be doing y, two years hence he must be doing x - so tomorrow he must be doing a. The rest was simple. It was up to him, his natural talent and hard work. Nothing was guaranteed - but he aimed to do his best. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to do my best to go from 7/10 to 10/10 are:

*

* You can work hard to achieve and then maintain the 10/10.

Perfection is probably unattainable, but you can do your best to make full use of your talents. This calls for constant improvement, but it can also be exciting.

“The crunch time came when I was around 40,” said one keynote speaker. “Because I am good at presenting, I always scored highly on the conference circuit, particularly when teaching about leadership. Something was missing, however, and I wanted to be more real, rather than simply go into ‘stage role’. So I chose to specialise on what I felt passionately about - the future world of work. This called for doing an enormous amount of research. For example, I became a regular participant at TED - the pioneering technology, entertainment and design conference, which sells out a year in advance.

“Re-launching myself on the conference circuit, I talked about the future of work, but found that my ratings dipped. The audiences seemed split. Some gave me 10/10, others 3/10. That was a blow, because I was used to big scores. Refusing to dilute the message, however, I targeted specialist audiences, rather than the general conference circuit. Nowadays I feel passionate about what I do and, apparently, deliver peak performances. Hopefully I can keep learning and developing as I get older.”

How can you take this step in your own way? How can you develop your unique talents? How can you deliver peak performance and keep improving? Try completing the following phrase.

The specific things I can do to work hard to maintain and achieve the 10/10 are:

*

3 tips for understanding 'the heroic journey'

People have always wanted to follow their dreams - and this has often involved pursuing some kind of personal or professional ‘odyssey’. Sometimes the odyssey involves an outer journey, sometimes an inner journey, sometimes a combination of both. Reaching the goal produces a sense of peace. They rest for a while - then embark on another journey.

There are many psychological models for understanding this process - but insights can be also gained from the work of Joseph Campbell. He studied myths and legends from all civilizations. Finding that many followed a similar structure, he called this The Hero’s Journey. Campbell’s work was popularised by Christopher Vogler, author of The Writer’s Journey, and George Lucas, the director of Star Wars. Campbell’s work involves many stages, but let’s explore three overall steps that people take when pursuing their chosen journey.

* Travelling – setting-out on the journey towards the ‘Grail’.

You may be content in your world - but then comes the call to pursue an adventure or tackle a challenge. For example, you may lose your job, get an illness, see an injustice or catch a glimpse of the Holy Grail. At first you refuse the call but, after repeated asking, you embark on the journey. Now you are in a different world and do not know the rules, so you gather information and search for a compass. Looking for guidance, you will meet helpers - but are they friends or enemies? Nevertheless, you continue on your chosen path.

Looking back on your personal and professional life, think of a time when you set-out on a journey. You may have tackled a challenge, combated an illness, searched for a job or whatever. What was the trigger for travelling on the adventure? What was your ‘grail’? Try completing the following sentence.

The personal or professional journey I pursued to achieve a particular ‘grail’ was:

*

* Toiling – working hard on the journey towards the ‘Grail’.

You encounter tests on the journey - toils, trials and tribulations. There are highs, lows, breakthroughs and setbacks, but you try to keep your eyes on the Grail. Christopher Vogler showed how film plots often follow the structure that Joseph Campbell found in myths and legends. He wrote:

“A hero leaves her comfortable, ordinary surroundings to venture into a challenging, unfamiliar world. It may be an outward journey to an actual place: a labyrinth, forest or cave, a strange city or country, a new locale that becomes the arena for her conflict with antagonistic, challenging forces…But there are many stories that take the hero on an inward journey, one of the mind, the heart, the spirit. In any good story the hero grows and changes, making a journey from one way of being to the next: from despair to hope, weakness to strength, folly to wisdom, love to hate, and back again. It’s these emotional journeys that hook an audience and make a story worth watching.”

(The Heroine’s Journey is similar to The Hero’s Journey, but with one vital difference. Women gather knowledge and wisdom from the tribe earlier. Men only ask for help at the last moment - and even then may see it as a sign of ‘weakness’.)

Overcoming challenges, you finally stand on the edge of ‘victory’. You venture into what Campbell calls ‘the inmost cave’ and face the ‘supreme ordeal’. How will you behave in this moment of truth? For example, will you be generous or will you submit to greed? Will you flee, fight or flow?

Let’s return to the journey you followed in your own life and work. Can you recall the trials you faced? How did you overcome the challenges? What support do you get on the journey? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I did – and the things I encountered – when pursuing the journey towards the grail were:

*

* Transcending – lifting the ‘Grail’ and gathering wisdom from the journey.

You can only do your best, so you do the right thing. Sometimes you will lift the prize; sometimes you will simply gather wisdom for a future journey. You may enjoy a moment of transcendence - an epiphany - and see the world as if for the first time. The Hero/Heroine sometimes returns with the prize, but first there is the journey home - the return to the ‘ordinary world’. How can you make sense of what you have learned? Will people be able to understand? That is when the wisdom begins to seep into your bones - and you realise that you will be changed forever.

Joseph Campbell says people take one of three routes after returning to the world. a) They share their vision, but the world does not want to know, so they retreat back to the woods, “with a dog and a pipe.” b) They meet resistance, become disheartened, and revert to the ‘world’s way’. c) They make a living by becoming, in the broadest sense, a ‘teacher’ and pass-on their message to people who are receptive.

Looking back on your journey, did you encounter a final test? If so, what was the challenge? How far did you get towards lifting the grail? Did you enjoy a feeling of ‘transcendence’? What lessons did you learn from the journey? How did you re-enter the ‘ordinary’ world? How have you used the learning in your life since the journey? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I did to do my best to ‘lift the grail’ were:

*

The lessons that I learned from the journey that I have used in my life since then have been:

*

Days, weeks and months pass. You rest for a while, but then you become restless. There is another mountain to climb, another adventure to pursue. So you embark on your next chosen journey. Or does the journey choose you, Frodo?

3 tips for understanding the positive, percentage and paralysis approaches

Sports psychology provides many concepts that people can use in other areas of life. Here is one that provides food for thought. If you are a football manager, for example, you can play a match using the positive, percentage or paralysis approach. Sometimes you might pursue all three approaches in one game. Let’s explore these themes - plus how they might apply to other areas of life.

* The positive approach.

People often do their best work when they adopt this attitude. “Be positive, take the initiative and impose yourself on the game,” is the football manager’s advice. “Believe in yourself, win the ball and play the game in the opposition’s half of the field.” Sport - and life - is to be enjoyed. Being positive must be coupled with being professional, rather than being reckless. People who embrace this attitude are more likely to flow, focus and finish. Let’s consider the next theme.

* The percentage approach.

People may sometimes choose to adopt this style. “Sometimes we must play the percentage game - but do it with a positive attitude,” says the football manager. “Defenders must defend. Be professional, clear the ball but, whenever possible, pass to one of our players. Some teams base their whole playing style on a negative percentage game. They line-up defensively, kick long balls into the opposition half and pray for a lucky break. Certainly we may be forced to use this tactic when under enormous pressure. Adopting it as the main strategy is risky, however, because it is easy to fall into the paralysis game.”

* The paralysis approach.

People sit back. They wait for things to happen - rather than make things happen. Everybody has experienced this during their lives. After suffering a setback, for example, we must spend time in a sanctuary, before shaping our future and working to achieve success. Spending too long in a sanctuary causes the muscles to whither, however, and makes it difficult to start moving.

“Players who lose confidence often experience paralysis,” explained one sports psychologist. “They achieved success by being able to flow but, consumed by fear, they freeze. My role is to help them to play the positive game and, when appropriate, the percentage game. They are then more able to flow, focus and finish.”

How can you apply these lessons in your life and work? Looking to the future, try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the specific situations where you can apply the positive approach. Second, describe where it may be appropriate to adopt the percentage approach. Finally, describe the situations where you must make sure you don’t fall into the paralysis approach. Try completing the following sentences.

The positive approach. The specific situations where I can use the positive approach are:

*

The percentage approach. The specific situations where it may be appropriate to use the percentage approach are:

*

The paralysis approach. The specific situations where I must make sure I do not fall into the paralysis approach are:

*

You can find many more tools for building on your strengths at:

http://www.thestrengthsway.com

3 tips for balancing great work and grunt work

How can you balance your great work and grunt work? People do not mind doing tough jobs - even boring tasks - providing they can see the point. But they don’t like doing grunt work that doesn’t make sense. The frequently told ‘cathedral story’ still holds true. Ask one labourer what he is doing and he answers: “I am mixing cement.” Ask another labourer doing exactly the same job and he says: “I am building a cathedral.” Guess who is happier. Let’s explore three steps towards doing fine work.

* You can choose to do a specific piece of great work.

Sometimes this part is relatively easy - you may have lots of projects and dreams. Sometimes it is more difficult - you may have to find or create a space in the jungle. One manager took the second route - and finally ended-up doing the job he was hired to perform. He explained:

“Two years ago I took several steps that rejuvenated my career. Looking at my diary for the next six months, I couldn’t see where I would get my creative kicks. Supposedly I had been hired to lead a pioneering team - but my days were spent managing, rather than leading.

“Then I got savvy. I decided: a) To deliver the goals I had been set in my day job; b) To, on top of this, do something special that benefited the business. Looking ahead, I decided to manage my day job, but also do a great piece of work with customers. Six months later we presented the improved customer satisfaction scores at the company conference.

“‘This is exactly what we hired you to do,’ said my bosses. Meeting them 2 weeks later, I outlined three specific projects we could do to benefit the bottom-line, but it meant re-focusing our resources. Seeing the sense in the argument, they gave the go-ahead. Now we concentrate on doing a few pioneering projects.”

Try tackling the exercise on this theme called Great Work & Grunt Work. Start by describing a specific piece of great work you would like to complete—then move onto the next stage.

Great work. The specific piece of great work I would like to complete is:

*

* You can do the necessary grunt work.

Now comes the interesting part. Peak performers dream, do and deliver - which means following certain daily disciplines. Imagine you are an athlete aiming to compete in the Olympic final. Starting from this destination and working backwards, you will make a clear project plan - mapping-out what must be done each year, each month and each day. You will get started by launching into following a daily rhythm. The same is true for any project. There may be grunt work involved - but it makes sense on the road to achieving the great work. Encouraging yourself on the journey, you will keep working hard to ensure you reach the final stage.

Grunt work. The steps I can take to plan and do the necessary grunt work are:

*

* You can finally produce the piece of great work.

Sometimes you will make a super-human effort to finish - sometimes you will simply flow, focus and finish. Good finishers keep their eyes on the goal but, paradoxically, also pay as much attention to the process as the prize. Staying concentrated in the moment, they may find the fruit drops into their hands. Aiming to perform outstanding work, you will also frequently add that ‘touch of class’. How can you do this in your way? How can you become a ‘class act’? Great design is simple, beautiful and effective. You may well follow similar rules and when producing something worthwhile - something that benefits people. The grunt work will then make sense on the road to producing great work. Try completing the final part of the exercise.

Great work. The steps I can then take to produce the piece of great work are:

*

3 tips for managing setbacks successfully

Everybody experiences disappointments in life - the key is how they deal with the difficulties. Here are three ideas for managing setbacks successfully.

* You can recognise the stages people often go through when overcoming a setback.

Imagine you have experienced a setback. You may have had an accident, lost a job, contracted an illness, suffered a rejection or whatever. Whilst everybody reacts differently, many go through the ‘reactive change curve’. They experience the stages of shock, denial, paralysis, anger and hurt. Healing takes time. But they gather new strength, set new goals, work hard, achieve success and gather self-confidence. People may take time to recover; but they often emerge stronger, wiser and more able to shape their future.

* You can recognise your pattern for managing setbacks successfully.

Everybody has a history of overcoming difficulties. If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme called 'Managing setbacks successfully'. First, describe a time in your life when you overcame a difficulty. Second, describe what you did right then. For example, you may have taken ‘time-out’ to recover - even if only for 30 seconds. You may then have set a specific goal, gathered support and set-out on the journey. Travelling along the road, you found creative solutions to problems and kept working until you reached the goal. Everybody is different, so you will obviously have your own successful pattern. Looking ahead, describe how you can follow similar principles to overcome possible challenges in the future.

* You can recognise the importance of spending time in a sanctuary, shaping your future and getting a success.

People who experience setbacks often spend time in a ‘sanctuary’. They rest, recover and make sense of what happened. Sometimes they simply need time to lick their wounds. Give yourself permission to relax, re-centre and refocus - then move onto shaping your future. Concentrate on what you can control, rather than worry about what you can’t. Set specific goals and get an early success. Setbacks can act as alarm calls. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight, a person may say: “On reflection, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Gathering wisdom from the experience, they feel stronger and more able to achieve ongoing success.

You can find many exercises for building on your strengths and managing setbacks successfully at:

http://www.thestrengthsway.com

3 tips for helping people to understand choices & consequences

Imagine you work as a mentor, coach or counsellor. One of the key concepts to get across to individuals is that: “You always have choices – and each choice has consequences.” Let’s explore how this can work in action.

* You can help a person to understand that they have choices.

Imagine that somebody wants to discuss a challenge they are facing. Providing they are open to learning, you can help them to see they have various options. Even doing nothing is an option. The hard thing is to communicate this message in an encouraging way – rather than as a cop. So in your own way, you may say something like:

“You have several choices in this situation. Option ‘a’ is to: … Option ‘b’ is to … Option ‘c’ is to: … Can you think of any other options?”

How can you put this into practice? Think of a personal or professional situation where a person asks for your help. They may need to make a tough decision, recover from a setback or whatever. Try completing the followings sentences.

The specific situation where I want to help a person to see they have choices about the way they move forward is:

*

The specific things I can do to help them to see that they have choices about the way they move forward are:

*

* You can help a person to explore the consequences of each option.

This calls for helping the person to do two things. a) To consider the consequences of each option – the pluses and minuses. There are seldom any ‘minus free’ options. b) To consider the ‘attractiveness’ of each option. So you may say something like:

“What do you see as the pluses and minuses of each option? On a scale 0 – 10, how attractive is each option?”

Bearing this in mind, how can you encourage the person to consider the pluses and minuses? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to help the person to explore the consequences of each option are:

*

* You can help a person to come to their own conclusions and pursue their chosen option.

Great decision makers do three things before coming to a conclusion. First, they ask themselves: “Are there any other possible options? Is it possible to put together the best parts of each route to create another option?” Second, they make decisions based on the consequences of each option – rather than the options themselves. In this way they can be considered to ‘choose the consequences’. Third, when translating the decision into action, they aim build on the pluses and minimise the minuses. Going through this process obviously takes time – though it gets quicker with experience and wisdom.

When you work as a mentor, coach or counsellor, it is important to give the person time to reflect on their options. They are then more likely ‘own’ the decision and implement it successfully. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to help the person to come to their own conclusions and pursue their chosen option are:

*

People always have choices – even if these are limited to choosing their attitude in a given situation. Some people find this approach liberating; others find it challenging. People who embrace it find they are more able clarify their choices, make good decisions and accept the consequences.

3 tips for working in a 'green field' site, rather than a 'brown field' site

“How do you bring about transformational change?” somebody may ask. Pacesetters often choose to find or create a ‘Green Field’ site, rather than try to infuse energy into a ‘Brown Field’ site. They develop a new kind of store, new way of satisfying customers or whatever. They choose to ‘create a new pilot’, rather than ‘change old practices’. Pacesetters focus on making the ‘new rules of the game’, rather than negotiating for a bit of space within the old rules. They work with people who want to try new ideas, rather than try to persuade unmotivated people to change.

Putting the right conditions in place lays the foundation for transformational change - with the chances of success being 8+/10. Trying to shift older style cultures will at best produce incremental change - with the chances of success being only 3/10. Pacesetters believe it is vital to make the prototype work, however, because ‘success provides its own arguments’. Let’s explore how you can translate these ideas into practice.

* You can find or create a green field site.

“I have two job options,” said one leader. “The first is turning around the EMEA arm of a global company. The package is huge, but so are the challenges. Times have changed and the company are now in the wrong business. They also employ the wrong people who operate in the wrong way. It could be turned around in 3 years, but only if I got real power to make it happen. My fear is that the Global Board would lose its nerve because of the immense changes that are needed.

“The second option is leading a growing software business. The market opportunity is huge, but so are the risks. The future market will be dominated by 2 or 3 players. We can be one of them, providing we implement the right strategy. The first option is flattering, but I know the costs involved. The turnaround could work, but would require massive surgery. Even though the software company comes with a smaller financial package - plus a profit share - I will probably take that option.”

Which route would you take? There are obviously pluses and minuses with each option. Much depends on your preferred way of working. It is possible to launch a ‘green field’ approach for a ‘brown field’ company, but only if you have the autonomy and authority to make it happen. It may also vital to be ‘physically’ separated from the parent company. You need to be in a different place where you can make different rules, otherwise the old system will suffocate you. Clear contracting is crucial - whether you are doing a start-up or reporting to an established company. You must agree on the ‘What’ - the real result to achieve - and the broad parameters of the ‘How’. Then your job is to deliver the results. Imagine you want to do some ‘green field’ work. Try completing the following sentence.

The things I can do to find or create a green field site are:

*

* You can do great work in the green field site.

Imagine you have got your wish. After clarifying the ‘What’ and the ‘How’, operate the super team principles. Get the right people implementing the right strategy in the right way. Produce some early successes. Why? Even though you have apparently got carte blanch, you must reassure your sponsors. Managing the centre is crucial. Show the positive results you are delivering and, if appropriate, explain the broad principles. “Take your trophies to Rome, but don’t allow Rome’s process police to come to you.” After all, you are trying to create a new way of doing business. Success provides its own arguments, so be proactive and satisfy the centre. Try completing the following sentence.

The things I can do to perform great work in the green field site are:

*

* You can pass-on the knowledge learned in the green field site.

Share your knowledge with other people. You may want to say something like: “This was our purpose. These were the principles we followed and how we followed them in practice. Here are the results we achieved in terms of profitability, product quality - including customer satisfaction - and our people. Here is our analysis of the work. a) The things that went well were: ………….b) The things we could do better next time would be: ……………… So these are the lessons from the prototype. You will, of course, follow these principles in your own way.” Try completing the following sentence.

The things I can do to pass-on the knowledge learned from working in the green field site are:

*

Working in a green field site is exciting, but also a bit scary. Why? Because it is up to you. Providing you have contracted clearly, it is not possible to blame the ‘system’ or the old organisation. This is exhilarating. You and the team can work together to achieve success.

3 tips for managing your sponsors

Peter Drucker once wrote: “The purpose of business is to create and keep a customer.” The same rule applies when each of us contribute to an organisation. Whether we work as a freelancer or as a full-time employee, our role is to satisfy our sponsors - the people who can hire or fire us. Some people forget this rule and become institutionalised. They stop taking initiatives and wait to be ‘managed’. Many of today’s businesses, however, want people who are positive, proactive and professional. Let’s explore how you can manage your sponsors. This calls for taking responsibility, reassuring them and delivering results.

* You can take responsibility.

“I want people to step forward,” said one leader. “I want them: a) To understand our goals: b) To say how they want to contribute: c) To deliver on their promises. Too many people sit waiting for me to dish out the jobs. That may have worked in the past, but now I want self-managing people who take initiatives. This frees me up to take a more strategic role in shaping the business.”

Writing in the 1980s, Peter Drucker predicted the need for people to behave like ‘volunteers’ in organisations. This calls for three things. a) For the leaders to provide a compelling vision; b) For the individuals to ‘opt-in’ and behave likes volunteers, rather than victims; c) For the organisation to provide the support that people need to achieve the vision. This may or may not happen in your organisation, but taking initiatives plays a crucial part in satisfying your sponsor. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to take responsibility are:

*

* You can reassure your sponsors.

Sponsors worry. They go to bed at night worrying about hitting the numbers, satisfying their bosses, improving service quality, getting the right people and staying out of trouble. Similarly, their bosses are under pressure from the banks, stock market or other outside forces. Your job is to reassure them. Never say: “Trust me.” That is like a red flag to a bull.

Show sponsors that you understand the business. Make clear contracts about your contribution, keep them informed and deliver early successes. Sponsors do not like nasty surprises. So manage their expectations. Be honest, especially when faced by potential crises. Show you have considered the possible ways forward, the respective consequences and, where appropriate, give your recommendations. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to reassure my sponsors are:

*

* You can deliver results.

“Football is a results business,” said one leading manager. “I can talk a good game with the press, but I must deliver results on the field. Otherwise I will get sacked.”

Sponsors will judge you by your results. This calls for doing three things. First, being crystal clear on what you must deliver. Second, doing superb work and delivering the goods. Third, going that extra mile and producing something special. The final point is vital. People buy people and, in the future, they will remember if you gave them great service. Taking these steps will enable you to create and keep customers. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to deliver results to my sponsors are:

*

You can find more tools for building on your strengths and doing great work for sponsors at:

http://www.thestrengthsway.com

3 tips for being a pacesetter

Pacesetters have a different kind of psychology. They take the lead, maintain the lead and extend the lead. They believe ‘a better way is possible’. Dick Fosbury created a revolutionary method of high jumping; Sony invented the Walkman; Abraham Maslow gave birth to a new view of humanity. Pacesetters make the new rules for the game. Let’s explore how you can do pioneering work in your chosen field.

* You can choose the activity in which you want to be a pacesetter.

Human beings are natural designers. They love to solve problems, invent new models or develop their own view of paradise - be it in creating a garden, designing a house or whatever. Looking at your personal and professional life, choose an activity in which you want to show what is possible. If the former, choose one where you enjoy a sense of play. If the latter, choose one where you can achieve peak performance. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific activity in which I would like to do pacesetting work is:

*

* You can do superb work as a pacesetter.

Whatever pioneering work you do - enjoy it. The basic rules are simple: follow your passion, translate this into a clear purpose, deliver peak performance and be a pacesetter. Then, if appropriate, pass-on your knowledge. Clarifying the end goal is crucial. If you are visual, you may start by picturing the end result - the ‘Z’. Returning to A, B and C, you will then ‘play’ with many different ideas until you discover how to reach Z. Then it is time to work hard to create the ‘finished product’. If you are doing pioneering work in a business, for example, it is vital to build successful prototypes. Success provides its own arguments. People who see the benefits are more likely to adopt ‘the new way of doing things around here’.

Pacesetters recognise that there are many different levels of invention. Some ideas are incremental - they move things along a little bit; some are transformational - they completely re-write the rules of the game. Thomas Kuhn coined the term ‘paradigm shift’ during the 1960s in his book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Paradigm shifts occur, he said, when people see events in a radically different way. For example, the earth is seen to revolve around the sun - not the other way round. People may experience such breakthroughs in their personal lives. Suddenly they see the world in a different way, which leads to changing their behaviour. Paradigm shifts can also occur in sports, business or when recognising the effects our actions have on the planet.

Decide the degree to which you want to be pioneering - then complete your ‘prototype’. Some innovators want to develop, spread and perhaps sell their invention - others want to go onto the next exciting project. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to perform superb work as a pacesetter are:

*

* You can continue to be a pacesetter.

Pacesetters sometimes get bored after seeing their ‘project’ work in practice. Why? They are often designers at heart. They also like to get the right balance between design, development and delivery. Great design is simple, satisfying and successful. After delivering the ‘project’ and seeing it works, for example, you may want to either: a) Make it even better; b) Move onto the next project. If you take the second route, take some time-out to re-gather your thoughts. Do some ‘slow thinking’ and make good use of the ‘fallow times’. Ask yourself questions like:

“What are my passions? What do I want to invent, build or design? What do I want to create? What problems do I want to solve? What things can be done in a better way? What knowledge do I want to pass-on? What can I do to encourage future generations? How can I do these things? When do I want to begin?”

Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to continue to be a pacesetter are:

*

Once you feel ready, embark on the next exciting journey. Stay curious, stay creative and, if you wish, share concrete results. Pursue your passion, translate it into a clear purpose and continue to be a pacesetter.

3 tips for understanding change on the primary & secondary levels

Imagine you are a leader, manager or coach who has been charged with: “Helping people to transform their behaviour.” Several things will be important to remember.

First, to establish their ‘will’ before imparting any skill - people must want to develop. Second, to understand the primary and secondary levels of learning. (See below.) Third, to encourage people to get some early wins. Finally, to help them to understand how to follow the successful principles in the future. Let’s explore how people can develop on both the primary and secondary levels – because both are crucial if they are to achieve success.

* The primary level.

People learn on two levels: the primary level and the secondary level. When we are children, we start by learning on the primary level. This is the level of doing, playing and feeling. We adventure, explore and gather experience. Living on the primary level is great, but we must make sense of experience, which leads to the next stage.

* The secondary level.

People also learn on a secondary level - which is vital for creating models and frameworks for understanding our experience. Learning from the past, we translate these lessons into actions for the future.

But sometimes people hit a problem. They spend too much of their lives on the secondary level. Instead of doing, they think about doing. Instead of ‘playing’ - taking initiatives - they replace it with intellectualising. Instead of feeling, they talk about feelings. Between the two levels they then put a series of blocks. This creates differences between ‘what they say and what they do’. Companies also fall into this trap. For example, they may issue a finely worded ‘values statements’, but this is purely secondary level. They don’t live the values.

* Change on the primary and secondary levels.

Learning takes place on both levels - but real growth begins on the primary level. People must do something that brings success. They take this step by either: a) Doing things they already know work; or b) Doing new things that work. They feel better, get better results or build better relationships. Success breeds success. They integrate the habits and change their behaviour. These patterns become integrated and part of their ‘default’. Let’s explore how it works in practice.

Therapists can help a client to analyse ‘why’ they have problems - but the ‘talking cure’ has limits. People who retake control of their lives do so by acting on the primary level. They do something physical. They start running; stay sober rather than drink; or spend time with positive rather than negative people. Individuals who develop good habits are more likely to feel successful.

Companies that aim to shift their culture must start on the primary level. “Never lead with a piece of paper,” is the mantra. They must do something different. Leaders can talk till they are blue in the face - but people will be watching their behaviour. They must change the physical things to change the psychological things to change the philosophical things. Companies that do this stand a chance of shifting their culture.

People may be successful on the primary level – but they must know how to repeat the principles. This calls for developing an understanding on the secondary level. They need a model, framework or tool they can use to repeat the success.

So how can you help people to transform their behaviour? First, establish their ‘will’. Are they serious? Bearing in mind the pluses and minuses involved, do they accept the whole package? Second, encourage them to do what works on the primary level. Third, help them to get some early wins. Finally, enable them to understand and repeat the key principles. People will then stand a good chance of achieving ongoing success.

3 tips for understanding the 'self-confidence pot'

How high is your self-confidence? Sometimes in our lives we feel up, sometimes we feel down. There are many reasons for this – but here is one explanation. This is based on the model called the ‘self-confidence pot’ that was devised by Virginia Satir, a pioneering family therapist. It invites you to do the following things.

* You can clarify your level of self-confidence.

Start by drawing an imaginary pot. (See illustration above.) Looking at the pot, draw a line that corresponds with how high you feel your self-confidence is today. If you have high confidence, draw it high up the pot. If your confidence is low, draw it at a lower point in the pot. The next step explores why it may be at this level.

* You can clarify your ‘pot fillers’ and ‘pot drillers’.

Write the names of your ‘pot fillers’. These are the people who give you encouragement and energy. You look forward to seeing them and feel more alive after meeting them. Also, describe the things you do to give yourself energy – such as listening to music, reading, gardening or whatever. If you have lots of things that give you positive energy, then your pot will be overflowing – and you will be more able to pass-on encouragement to other people. But there may be complications, which brings us to the next part of the exercise.

Write the names of your ‘pot drillers’. These are people who sap energy. They leave you feeling drained and discouraged. The more significant they are in your life, the nearer they will be to the base. You may also do things to drill holes in your own pot. One athlete, for example, continually criticised himself with negative self-talk after competitions. Reviewing performances is vital, but he devoted 90% of his energy to focusing on his failures, rather than his successes. He finally managed to change his script by adopting a different approach. After each performance he focused on: a) What I did well – and how I can do it more: b) What I can do even better in the future – and how. He grew in stature and immediately improved his performances.

One other point. Some people may be both pot fillers and pot drillers. They may have a ‘pleasing – hurting’ pattern. Sometimes they are positive then, without warning, they lash out. Clarify the specific things these people do to encourage or drain you.

* You can clarify how you can raise your self-confidence level.

How can you continue to raise your confidence and also encourage other people? Here are some suggestions you may wish to consider.

a) Spend more time with people who give you energy.

Start by spending time with your encouragers. If possible, only work with colleagues you find stimulating. People often find that, as they get older, they spend more time with personal and professional soul mates. Encourage yourself. Do more of the things you love, for example, listening to music, skiing, visiting the theatre or whatever. Pursuing these activities will put more energy into your pot.

b) Spend less time - or no time - with people who drain energy.

Radical changes are difficult to make overnight but, unless the holes are filled, encouragement will simply flow out of the bottom. You can do two things with stoppers.

- Stop seeing people who drain energy.

Why take such a drastic step? Energy is life. You need pure energy, rather than poisonous energy. Radical changes are difficult to make overnight but, unless the holes are filled, encouragement will simply flow out of the bottom. For example, two of the main reasons why people leave their jobs are: a) They are working for a manager who makes life difficult each day; b) They are doing work that no longer gives them a sense of fulfilment. So they begin searching for satisfying work with a manager whom they respect.

- Start making clear contracts with the people who both encourage and stop you.

Reward the positive. Give clear messages about the specific things you do like them doing. Explain how you would like to build on these parts of the relationship. Give positive alternatives to the negative. Say: “In the future, is it possible for you to …..” or “I would prefer it if you…” Present suggestions, rather than label them as ‘bad’. Don’t expect people to respond immediately; everybody needs time to lick their wounds. Don’t argue or fall into the blame game. What if the person refuses to respond? Then make the decision whether to stay or leave.

c) Be an encourager – a pot filler - for other people.

Encourage other people and they are more likely to support you. Give and give - but don’t become a victim. Do not stay around to have your pot drilled by people who choose to be miserable or ‘observer critics’.

Finally, when in doubt, ask yourself: “Is this activity giving me energy?” If not, switch to spending time with the people – and on the activities – that provide stimulation.

3 tips for reframing a situation as a 'positive challenge'

Peak performers often reframe a testing situation as a ‘positive challenge’ – rather than rush around with ‘pants on their head’. They adopt this approach in many circumstances, even those that involve life and death. Robert Muller, a former Assistant Secretary General for the UN, did this when escaping from the Nazis. Being hunted was so frightening, he said, that he reframed the experience as him being in a film. Robert found that ‘removing’ himself from the reality meant he was more able to see options. Looking back on his wartime experiences, he says they taught him the power of choice. “You can ‘decide’ how you are going to be in virtually any situation.” Robert later wrote a book on this theme called Most of all the taught me Happiness.

People sometimes translate difficult emotional situations into an intellectual challenge. Why? Because then it is easier to take a helicopter view and find solutions. Otherwise the feeling take over completely and they freeze. Let’s explore how this approach works in practice - particularly when encountering a testing situation.

* You can adopt a positive approach.

People who contract a serious illness sometimes reframe the journey as tackling a ‘project’. They adopt a positive approach by aiming to do their best and ‘controlling the controllables’. They concentrate what they can control, rather than worry about what they can’t control. One person explained:

“My first step was to take more control. So I scanned the internet to discover more about my illness. Previously I had waited for hospitals to return my messages. Nurses and doctors always do their best, but they are frequently run off their feet. So I threw myself into discovering everything I could about the illness, the support groups and regaining my health.”

The Penny Brohn Cancer Care organisation, for example, aims to offer people a variety of options for tackling their illnesses. Formerly The Bristol Cancer Help Centre, it specialises in offering complementary care. But it insists on enabling people to consider all kinds of treatments - conventional and complementary. The aim is to encourage people to shape their own futures.

Positive people aim to do their best. They are realistic, however, and concentrate on what they can control. Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe the specific situation you can reframe as a positive challenge. Second, describe the specific things you can do to adopt a positive approach towards this challenge.

The specific situation I can reframe as a positive challenge is:

*
The specific things I can do to adopt a positive approach towards this challenge are:

*

* You can set a positive goal and find a positive way forward.

Peak performers often use the ‘5C’ model for finding setting a crystal-clear goal and find creative ways forward. They focus on the challenges, choices, consequences, creative solutions and conclusions. Clarity is crucial. So when defining the challenge, identify the real results to achieve.

“Certainly I wanted to regain my health, but in some ways I saw that as a by-product” said the person who saw their illness as a ‘project’. “My aim was to care for my body and soul. So I chose to eat properly, do things I loved and pursue my chosen treatment. I also kept a blog – but tried to make it ‘educational’, rather then self-indulgent. My ‘project’ included helping others to navigate their way through this kind of illness in the future.”

Let’s return to the specific situation which you can redefine as a positive challenge. Try working through the following steps. Clarity is the key – start by defining the real results you want to achieve. Choices – describe the possible options. Consequences – describe the pluses and minuses of each option. Creative solutions – describe the potential imaginative solutions. Conclusions – describe your chosen route for tackling the challenge. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to set a positive goal and find a positive way forward towards tackling the challenge are:

*

* You can do your best to get positive results.

“Persistence is crucial,” said one crisis manager. “Settle on your chosen strategy, then keep doing the right things. You must build-in ‘reality checks’, but sometimes you don’t see instant results. Keep looking for signs – even underneath the surface – for: a) What is working; b) What can be better and how. Encourage yourself and redouble your efforts. Do everything possible to reach the goal.”

Looking back on your life, can you recall a time when you tackled a challenge successfully? Perhaps you began by being consumed by emotion; but then explored many creative solutions. Pursuing your chosen route, you worked hard until you solved the crisis. How can you follow similar principles in the future? Let’s return to the situation have reframed as a challenge. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to do my best to get positive results are:

*

Some you win, some you lose. But the key is always to do your best. You can do this by reframing things as a positive challenge – rather than by putting pants on your head.

3 tips for moving between the concept and the concrete

Imagine you are a mentor, educator or keynote speaker. How can you communicate in a way that people find relevant and rewarding? People often want to understand the overall philosophy but also get practical tools. One approach is to keep moving between the concept and the concrete. Let’s explore how this works in practice.

* You can give the concept.

Imagine you are helping people to develop their leadership skills. Begin by clarifying the key messages you want to give people. Plan how you can bring these messages to life by moving between the concept and concrete. One message you may want to give, for example, is that the leader is always ‘on stage’. Start by introducing the concept. You may want to say something like:

“The leader is always ‘on stage’. People will pick up on your mood. They will watch the way you communicate, speak and act. Looking back on your own life, remember how you reacted to parents, teachers and your managers. You probably watched them closely to ‘read’ their emotions - then judged what it was safe to say or do. Leaders set the tone - which is what you do in your daily work. Let’s consider how to translate this principle into practice.”

* You can move to the concrete.

Show that you understand peoples’ world by linking the concept to concrete actions. There are many ways to bring the learning to life. Here is a snapshot of one approach. You may want to say something like:

“Let’s start from your destination and do three things. First, write the actual words you want people to say about you as a leader. For example: ‘She/he is always positive. She/he communicates a clear vision. She/he always has time for us as individuals.’ Second, describe your leadership journey during the working day - especially the interactions you have with employees. Third, describe how you want to behave during each part of this journey - especially when you are ‘on stage’. Remember the impressions you want people to take away from their interactions with you.

“Let’s start the journey. When do people see you for the first time during the day? Perhaps when you get out of the car; then you enter the building; greet the receptionist; enter the lift; say ‘hello,’ to others in the lift; walk into the main office; say ‘hello,’ to individuals; greet your PA; get yourself a coffee; talk with people at the coffee machine; walk back through the office; sit in front of the computer; begin work; answer the phone; walk around the office and so on. Looking at your journey, ask yourself:

* How do I want to behave when I meet each person? If a video camera followed me during the day, what would people see? What messages do I want to give? How can I give these in a positive but natural way?

* How do I want to greet people? How can I be fully present and give each person 100% attention? How can I show a sincere interest in them? What are the specific things I want to say to each person?

* What impression do I give when I walk through the office? Do I appear friendly, preoccupied or disinterested? What messages do I want to give? How can I do this in a natural way?

* What impression would people get of me if they saw me at my computer? Would it be better for me to have my own office - or be facing the wall - so that people do not read too much into my expressions?

* Everybody needs ‘personal space’ where they can just be themselves. What can I do to create this reflection time or space to relax? Once I have taken ‘time out’, how can I then refocus and go back into the situation where I am ‘on stage’?”

Keep giving concrete examples. Answer questions and, where appropriate, give practical tools that people can use in their daily lives and work.

* You can keep moving between the concept and the concrete.

Some teachers stay on the conceptual level; others stay on the concrete. Great educators move between the two levels. After covering the first topic, move onto the second and repeat the process. Try tackling the exercise on this theme. Looking ahead, think of a situation where you want to use this approach. First, describe the key messages - the concepts - you want to give people. Second, describe the examples you can use to bring these to life and make them concrete. When communicating, make sure that: a) You are connecting with people; b) You are helping them to reach their goals. People are then more likely to find the messages both relevant and rewarding.

3 tips for making good use of your prime times

When are your prime times? What are the times of the day when you have most energy? When do you feel most creative? Here are three tips for making good use of such times.

* You can clarify your prime times.

“Now I can identify my peaks and troughs during the day,” said one marketing manager. “My best time is between 8.00 and 11.30 in the morning. I dip during the afternoon, but then come alive again at 9.00 pm. Previously I used to berate myself for ‘not being creative’ during those downtimes, but then I learned to follow these natural rhythms.”

Energy is life. Sometimes we have lots of energy, sometimes we feel drained. Sometimes we need to rest and recover to become revitalised. Are you at your best in the morning, the afternoon, the evening - or a combination of these times? Try completing the following sentence that invites you to identify your prime times.

The times of the day when I have most energy – my prime times – are:

*

* You can make good use of your prime times.

“I became very protective of those times,” said the marketing manager. “But I faced a dilemma. My desk is located in an open plan office, but I find it difficult to do creative work in the midst of such activity. So now I get into the office at 7.30 am and leave a note about my whereabouts in case of emergency. Then I spend the first hour by myself doing creative work in a ‘cave'. Sometimes I am interrupted by urgent requests, but frequently it is my most productive part of the day. I have also asked my team members to let everybody know their prime times. Whilst we must all aim to be professional at all times, it is good to know when individual people are at their best.”

Rollo May, the American existentialist psychologist, believed people could become more effective by identifying and making good use of such times. Writing in the first edition of The Ageless Spirit, he explained:

"I stay in my studio each day for four hours, but the last hour and a half isn't worth very much. It was hard for me to accept, but what can I do? All I can do is make the most of the creative time I've got. So for two and a half hours I'm moving marvellously; the rest of the time I'm simply fiddling around. But I find joy in fiddling too. I have to accept the fact that I'm not a God. I have to accept my destiny. I have to accept the fact that I can only do creative work for a few hours a day, but that does not diminish one iota the joy I get from those two hours."

Rollo May believed it was important to ‘catch the wave’ - otherwise it was gone forever. How can you do this in your own way? Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to make good use of my prime times are:

*

* You can get into the habit of capitalising on your prime times.

Peak performers develop good habits - which includes making good use of their best times. “But that is so difficult,” somebody may say, “especially when other people are interrupting your rhythm.” Agreed, but the alternative is to allow those golden times to disappear into thin air. The key is to develop a creative rhythm. Develop a pattern of protecting and using those hours, even if it is only twice a week. Try completing the following sentence.

The specific things I can do to develop the habit of capitalising on my prime times are:

*

Capitalising on your prime times helps to channel your positive energy. You are then more likely to perform great work.

3 tips for making a contract with your team

Imagine you are a team leader. One of your first jobs will be to make a clear working contract with the team. People must be clear on: a) The leader’s responsibilities; b) The team members’ responsibilities. The contract should cover both the psychological and practical responsibilities of working together. Here is one approach you can take to making such an agreement. Gather the team and invite them to focus on the following themes.

* You can clarify the leader’s responsibility in the team.

Invite people to brainstorm what they see as the leader’s role in ensuring the team reaches its goals. For example, to provide a clear vision; to manage upwards and provide ‘air cover’ - protecting them from interference; to create an encouraging environment; to give people practical support; to make clear contracts about each person’s contribution; to co-ordinate everybody’s strengths; to make tough decisions; to do what is necessary to guide the team to success. There will be a chance to discuss these ideas later - but first move onto the next stage.

* You can clarify the team members’ responsibility in the team.

Invite people to brainstorm what they see as the team members’ role in ensuring the team reaches its goals. For example, to choose to be in the team; to have a positive attitude; to understand the team’s vision; to make clear contracts about their best contribution; to encourage their colleagues; to be creative; to come with solutions, rather than problems; to deliver on their promises; to do whatever is necessary to help the team to achieve success. Again, there will be a chance to discuss these ideas later - but then move onto the next stage.

* You can clarify and agree on the team’s working contract.

Looking at the ideas under the respective responsibilities, invite people to arrange these under themes and discuss the topics. When you feel people are ready, invite the team members to agree to the team’s working contract. As the leader, you will have the final say, but team members often produce an excellent agreement. Conclude by writing-up the contract and, if appropriate, putting it in a place where people can see it each day.

How can you use the contract? There are two main ways. First, it provides a constant reminder of people’s respective responsibilities. Second, it can be used when tackling difficult situations. For example, if a person behaves badly, don’t get dragged down into arguing about the details. Just go back to the contract. Ask whether they want to follow or change the contract. Sometimes it may be appropriate to alter the conditions - but then make sure the whole team are in agreement. If a person continues to break the rules, however, they are choosing to leave the team. Clear contracting provides the basis for building a successful team.

You can find many more exercises on teamwork in the free download The Super Teams Pack, that can be found at:

http://www.thestrengthsway.com

3 tips for recognising that 'what you focus on, you become'

“Study success,” said one of my teachers. “You are then more likely to feel optimistic. Study cynicism and you are more likely to be cynical. That does not mean you should ignore reality. Study solutions, however, rather than constantly analyse failure. What you focus on, you become.”

What you study - or put into your system - has an effect on how you feel. This is the law of return. Let’s explore how you can focus on what you want to become.

* You can clarify what you focus on.

What is your natural default? Do you focus on things that are positive or negative? Do you concentrate on beauty or ugliness; solutions or problems; hope or despair? Do you count your blessings or worry about what is missing? Do you spend time with people who are creative or those who complain?

Martin Seligman, a renowned psychologist, describes his own ‘Road To Damascus’ moment when his 8-year-old daughter said to him, in effect: “Dad, I might do much better if you occasionally told me what I did well.” He went on to write books such as Learned Optimism. Until recently, he maintains, psychologists could only get funding if they studied how people became ‘ill’. So they became experts in pointing out how people failed. He is now trying to reverse that trend and founded The Positive Psychology Network. So what do you focus on? Try completing the following sentence.

The things I focus on now are:

*

*

*

* You can clarify what you want to focus on.

Depending on which society you live in, you may be assailed by negative messages through the media. The constant argument, criticism and carping can take its toll. Yes, it is vital to see challenges and find creative solutions - but you need positive energy to make that happen.

“Ten years ago I changed dramatically,” said one person. “Being a ‘caring parent’, I wanted my children to grow up happily. But then one day I got a shock. My son asked me: ‘Is the world going to end?’ My answer was, ‘Of course not,’ but I wanted to know why he asked the question. He had been looking at my doom and gloom environmental magazines - a mood that I sometimes expressed when friends were round for dinner. Suddenly I took notice. I wanted to build a happier, more sustainable world, but I was poisoning my own home. Now I take magazines that show practical ways we can improve the world - rather than those that fill people with despair. It was a tough lesson.”

What do you want to focus on? You may want to spend more time encouraging other people, playing music, enjoying the arts, caring for your garden, creating beauty or whatever. Describe what you would like to spend your energy concentrating on – and how you can take steps to make that happen. Try completing the following sentences.

The things I want to focus on in the future are:

*

*

*

The steps I can take to focus on these things are:

*

* You can become more like what you focus on.

This is a challenge and calls for developing positive habits. You may remember the old story about Gandhi.

One day a mother brought her son to see the great man and said: ‘Can you please tell him to stop eating sugar?” Gandhi asked them to come back in 2 weeks. The date duly arrived and Gandhi told the boy to stop eating sugar. The mother thanked him but, before leaving, she asked: “Why couldn’t you tell him that two weeks ago?” His answer was: “I had to give up sugar first.” Gandhi believed you had to ‘be’ the message.

Let’s imagine that you develop your chosen habits. What will be the results of focusing on what you want to become? Try completing the following sentence.

The benefits of doing this will be:

*

"Everything is food," we are told. Certainly we are influenced by the people, places, sights, sounds and feelings around us. In any situation, we face a choice. We can choose to focus on the positive things, the possible solutions or the negative things. Then, what focus on, we are more likely to become.